After years of debating to start or to not start a blog, here I am. (It's about time!) Welcome to "My Curls N' Curves"; a blog following a crazy journey that I have the privilege of being able to call my life. If you choose to stick around, you'll witness the delicious concoctions I devour on a daily basis, the aspects that go into my love for working out/fitness/weightlifting, tips on healthy living, and more! (Aka, posts about the ups, downs, and maybe even just a little bit of rambling within my life)
The reason I started this blog is not just because I want to share the components of my life. I want to help people. I want to help those who have never had the confidence to be comfortable in their own skin. I want to help people realize that their bodies are capable of amazing things when they love and fuel themselves properly. Maybe this sounds a little hypocritical considering I have my own demons I battle every minute of every day. As some of you may or may not know, I have been battling an eating disorder for the past 5 years of my life. On November 9th of 2012, I received the phone call that would not only change, but save my life. The call from Children's Hospital of Wisconsin advising me to be admitted to their facility that very day. I remember the feeling in the pit of stomach when we got that call. I remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach packing my things and looking around my bedroom...wondering if I would ever be back. But most of all, I remember the pit in my stomach when I finally was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa after years of being in denial. I never ever thought it would happen to me. Reality really slapped me in the face when that scale read 89 pounds and had a feeding tube shoved up my nose 6 times.
I was too weak to walk, bathe myself, or even lift myself up out of bed. I realized then that I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep listening to this demon in my head. I couldn't keep lying to my family and friends. I couldn't keep acting like I was okay. Little did I know that I would spend that month of November in Children's Hospital of Wisconsin and Roger's Memorial Inpatient Treatment Center. It seems like it was yesterday that I dreaded waking up. I was so unbelievably sick of the whispering in the halls, the harassment, and the looks in school...everywhere I went. My life was a constant cycle of listening to Ed. Waking up at 4 am to exercise, surviving on 0-51 calories per day, and managing to exercise 2+ more times a day for 60-90 minutes after that. I went to sleep every night hoping that I would just pass peacefully in my sleep. I dreaded social events and being in public. Most of all, I hated knowing that I won't ever be "normal". But what is normal? Normal is so overrated, and I've learned that normal is quite boring actually. Yes, my struggle has taken a lot from me. I truly hate thinking about how many years I've lost of my life stuck within my eating disorder. But you know what? I am thankful for my struggle. Without my struggle, I wouldn't be the girl I am today. I have realized that my body is capable of so much when I properly fuel it. Just because I'm not in treatment and I'm weight restored now doesn't mean I'm all better. I work my booty off every single day to constantly improve myself. This will be with me every waking moment for the rest of my life. Slowly everyday, I am realizing that I need to embrace all of my imperfections. Because they are perfection.
ANNNNNNNND CURVES ARE FRIGGIN BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, AND MAKE YOU A WOMAN.
I am more than my eating disorder. I am more than a number on the scale or a measurement on the tape. I am me. And I am deserving of everything beautiful in this life.
Just like you.
I want you to not only find yourself smiling like a doofus when you read my posts, but to dig within yourself and find that motivation to love, accept, and look for ways to better yourself for your own sake.
Orrrrrr maybe I just want you to find yourself drooling over the amount of food porn I'll be sharing with you all? ;) Maybe it's a little bit of everything...
ANYWAYS. With that being said, thank you to whoever decides to follow me on this new adventure. You are the ones who inspire me to better myself each and everyday.